Although it's a foregone conclusion that Prince Caspian will be a hit at the weekend box office, audiences need not assume they'll be blown away by this new chapter in the Narnia saga. Yes, a grand, sweeping epic like Narnia can, in fact, turn out to be somewhat of a misfire, and herein lies the proof. Oh, where to begin.

Have you ever watched satellite television, four thousand channels in front of you, and realized there was nothing on? Prince Caspian is a bit like that. Most films can be pretty neatly divided into a first, second, and third act; this Narnia has at least five. The uneventful first hour left me somewhat bored, and once the pace began to pick up, I realized there was so much going on that, even with the film's hefty running time, it would be practically impossible to concisely sum up just what exactly this film is about. Don't get me wrong, you'll never be lost, and we are not experiencing another Pirates of the Caribbean debacle here. But Narnia Part Deux is an example of how, for once, I wish they'd left even more of the book out of the movie, because the film's direction is so schizophrenic, there's no telling where you might wind up next or whether you'll even care once you get there.

Prince Caspian, as a film, seems content to fill the empty spaces between sweeping battle scenes with more empty space. The truth is, nothing about the film really stands out other than going from one gigantic battle to another, each one more meaningless than the last. I remember, after one battle scene in particular, thinking to myself... what did that accomplish, exactly? It didn't advance the plot, it didn't bring either side any closer to victory, and it didn't knock off any major characters. It was just there for action and excitement, and unfortunately, that's the bulk of the film right there -- plenty of manly, chest-beating action on the part of pubescent teens, but relatively little substance in between.

There are a handful of other annoyances that we really shouldn't have to shoulder in a film of this magnitude, such as Caspian's maddeningly inconsistent accent and the insufferable talking mice and squirrels that made me yearn for the days of Jar Jar Binks, if you can believe that. For a movie with so much action violence, they sure did make sure to throw in the cutesie for the kiddies. Make up your mind already.

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