And right off the bat, you'll find that there are numerous college films from years past that College really wants to be, but can't quite pull off. In that respect, the film fails to even establish an identity of its own as it gropes around in the dark, trying to remind us of better comedies with better scripts and more memorable characters. There's the obvious Animal House, and not only are none of these clowns John Belushi, the half-baked script and wretched dialogue theaten to sink this new college adventure before the main characters even arrive on campus. Andrew Caldwell as the roly-poly Carter really wants to be Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, but here he's just the rowdy fat guy we're supposed to be laughing at; his on-screen bits are hit and miss, and most of them fall flat in front of the very straight-guy routines pulled off effectively but boringly by Kevin and Morris.

Speaking of Kevin, he's no Jim from American Pie, but he's supposed to be; likewise, Morris isn't able to effectively channel Finch from the same movie, but the parallels are so obvious as to be either insulting or irritating, I can't decide which. Some of the fraternity buffoons are mirror images from those in Revenge of the Nerds, and most of the sorority girls are simply caricatures we've seen a dozen times before with their pigtails and skimpy schoolgirl outfits I never, ever saw in my five years in college. In fact, the entire movie plays out as a cultural stereotype of its own, with completely over-the-top images of frat parties strewn with plastic cups, underwear, and partygoers passed out in stairwells. By the end of the first hour, I was firmly convinced that director Deb Hagan either never attended college herself, or if she did, never went to any parties.

It's worth mentioning that Haley Bennett's talents are squandered in a flavorless, hum-drum role that shows off her bikini-worthy figure but gives her nothing to do but look mildly annoyed. It's pretty much the same story all around the cast list -- lots of inspiration, no realization.

The Bottom Line